Thrumblenose heroes 1: Andrew Sachs

Andrew Sachs

It’s been a sad spectacle to witness the hysteria and subsequent witchhunt over Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross’s misjudged and, let’s be honest, crass phone call to Andrew Sachs. Having a wayward granddaughter hardly makes him a deserving target for mockery, which is of course why the whole thing misfired so badly. (Well, that and the rabble-rousing Mail’s pathological hatred of the way the BBC is funded.) But throughout this lamentable episode Sachs has shown true class, accepting their belated apologies and dropping the whole matter without any needless fuss.

But enough about it, here at Thrumblenose Towers we prefer to concentrate on the good stuff. And so it was that John (m’colleague, if you will, and even if you won’t) reminded me of a wonderful but little-known gem from Sachs’ C.V.

Tales from the crypt

Tales From The Crypt was a delightfully silly radio comedy from around 1981 featuring Andrew Sachs, Rory McGrath, Griff Rhys Jones, Mel Smith and Chrissy Roberts. Sachs played the splendidly-monikered Professor Glompus Van de Hloed, a retired Belgian supernatural investigator who runs a mini-cab firm. That the bizarre plot makes little sense matters little as the cast are clearly having so much fun that the shambolically fun atmosphere is infectious.

Unfortunately reliable information about the show is sketchy at best, but it’s a lost classic and worthy of a comprehensive article of its own. So while we put that together let us tease you with a few choice lines from the show…

Sergeant Porno:
“I think he died of Dutch Elm disease, sir.”

Inspector Bribeeasy:
“Why sergeant? Well look sir, he’s got no leaves.”

“We ‘ave a lot of sayings in Cornwall. Red sky at night, shepherd’s delight. Red sky in the morning, shepherd’s warning. Minced beef and mashed potato, shepherd’s pie.”

Sergeant Porno:
“I found a little box of white pills. Thought it might be drugs, sir.”

Inspector Bribeeasy:
“Yeah, so what did you do with it?”

Sergeant Porno:
“Well I didn’t want to take any chances, obviously, so I immediately went to the bathroom and poured the whole lot down my throat.”

Inspector Bribeeasy:
“Then what did you do?”

Sergeant Porno:
“Then I flew to Neptune on a magic swan.”

Andrew Sachs’ work on Fawlty Towers and Tales From The Crypt make him a worthy inductee as our inaugural Thrumblenose Hero!

6 thoughts on “Thrumblenose heroes 1: Andrew Sachs”

  1. I wonder whether TFTC ever comes round on Radio 7?

    BTW: It *does* grab biff. That’s the search that landed me here. Do you know that for the past 2-3 years the DVD sites have been showing tantalising glimpses of a DVD release of Whoops Apocalypse (but it seems the release date is receding at 1 day per day)? Galling. Johnny Cyclops in my memory is the spit of GWB.

    Keep it up,


  2. Yes, the wait for the Whoops Apocalypse DVD is agonizingly slow. Wish I knew what was holding it up. Till then, wear your mushroom with pride!

  3. So far as I know Tales From The Crypt has never been on BBC7. I have the LP version and most of the original 15 short episodes in shoddy quality MP3.

    As for Whoops Apocalypse it’s so frustrating. The film’s been out and it’s not a patch on the wonderful TV show.

    There’s an interesting (ok, ish…) connection in that Peter Cook was in the film and also in a 1978 radio pilot called Tales From The Crypt (presumably the same show as it was also co-written by Rory McGrath). So far as we know it was never broadcast.

    To stretch the interestingness to breaking point (no wait, come back!) immediately prior to making this pilot Peter Cook was in a pantomime called Black Cinderella Two Goes East, which BBC7 transmitted this Christmas.

    Good to hear from you Tim!

  4. Despirately trying to get hold of TFTC for a special birthday present – any ideas where I might find it ? Even the MP3s would be a good result.


  5. Hi Paul, will email you offline about sending you a copy. Hope you enjoy it!


    (By the way I’ve removed your email address from your post to prevent any disreputable types from spamming you.)

  6. Well hello there,
    Relating to the ‘Tales From The Crypt’ comments, has anyone transferred from LP or cassette to mp3 and, if so, is there anyway that I might get a copy???????
    In Hope

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